dear downstairs latina neighbor
what i really wrote:
sorry to bother you with this, but i was wondering if it might be possible to avoid loud conversations on your patio after 9pm. i have to be up quite early for work, so i am typically asleep by 9 or 9:30pm. thanks, i'd really appreciate it.
sarah, #7
what i really wanted to write:
dear stupid bitch:
why do latina women talk SO LOUD?
please stop screaming spanish on your patio while you chain smoke in your gym clothes from 7pm until well after midnight. if you don't, both my dog and i will wear tap shoes all day every day and i will make sure to practice my tap dance routines every morning when i wake up at 4:30am. i will get a pet squirrel that i will put in a cage out on MY patio so that my dog barks incessantly all day long while i am at work and you are at home being a latina princess.
futhermore, i will loosen the screws even more than they already are on my cheap ass ikea bed so that i might make it quite clear when i am getting some action and that will be your queue to really shut the fuck up. i moved from a ghetto ass apartment and made sure this time, I WAS ON THE TOP FLOOR so that i would no longer have to deal with super loud inconsiderate latina princesses. i now pay enough rent that i have no problem making your life a living hell should you decide to continue to call brazil from your patio THAT IS RIGHT UNDER MY BEDROOM WINDOW in the middle of the night to tell some cousin how many guys asked you out at the gym today.
gracias.
sarita
Comments
Oh honey, you DEFINITELY should have written that second letter!
Posted by: Mo | February 7, 2008 09:15 PM